All You Have to Do: Be Yourself

Is it ever okay to be seen?

It’s a question that I have been thinking about ever since my introduction to an amazing artist’s work. The paintings pointed out that we do not even look at each other anymore. There’s very little interaction. All of our time and energy is focused into ourselves, not because we are selfish or vain, but because many of us are so very insecure. We are constantly trying to look the part and persistently failing to measure up, at least in our own eyes.

If I were to calculate how much of my time, how many of my thoughts, were spent on how I looked, how I spoke, how I acted, I’d find that most of my day is spent in an anxious state.

What if we were able to look at ourselves in the mirror and smile? What if we were able to look another person in the eye and truly feel confident that they saw our true selves in return?

We second guess ourselves, because our society is about perfectionism. Is the make-up just right, is the hairstyle outdated, are the clothes too tight, too loose? Did I laugh too loud at that joke? Was that spinach in my teeth the entire night?

It’s a plague of questions that creates a barrier between ourselves and genuine interaction with others. I’m guilty of this myself. Lately I keep trying to figure out who I am, by pretending to be something else.

I admit I was afraid to be seen–too afraid to be the centre of attention for even a second. I hid behind my weight, wondering if I’d be treated with ridicule if I showed my true self. As a wide woman, I’m always bracing for the looks, comments, or anything that might be perceived as negative.

I may not everyone’s standard, but that shouldn’t stop me from looking into someone’s eyes for a genuine moment of connection, which may lead to this elusive happiness that we all seek.

I want to be seen, even with all my imperfections. All I have to be is myself.